This one also pairs nicely with yesterday’s “Sonnet” video, in that it, like Billy’s sonnet, uses the words on the page to count down toward some writing goal—not the building of a sonnet in this case, but rather, the simple goal of writing a thousand words a day, which must have been suggested to me at some point by someone with some writing gravitas...perhaps even Billy himself. Although he doesn’t strike me as a quota guy, so scratch that...could have been Anne Lamott, or Stephen King, or Spalding Gray or just about anybody else I was exposed to in my early writing years.
At any rate, here are...
285 Words Toward a Nitwit’s Quota
That’s 650 words in 32 minutes.
Together with the 260 words
before softball and the 1,190 words
taken from Dare to Win,
which I transcribed before the 260
makes 2,100 words on February 18, 2010.
Now, 1,000 words on February 19, 2010
and another 1,000 words
on February 20, 2010
and we will be off and running.
The saints, and the angels
and the dead kin
in heaven will all have
something to talk about—
the dimwitted Neanderthal who has,
to this point, been in the top 10%
of all humanity for drunkenness
and lack of productivity,
has finally begun putting words to paper.
Perhaps the nitwit will produce
something after all. Unlikely to be sure,
And maybe my relatives
would like to pitch in,
create a focus group, say,
which will meet on a weekly basis
up there to spitball ideas
on how exactly they can
aid in the cause.
Maybe, an uncle will say,
I could send some random ideas
down at 3am each day for a week.
And I could cook his sleeping
brain some meatloaf and lima beans,
a great grandmother offers
so he’ll have the energy needed
to lift his head off the pillow
It’s not much, adds my uncle.
Something, anyway, to help old
Dimwitted Nitwit do something
with his remaining hours
so he doesn’t show up here in heaven
asking for something
that he does not deserve.
By the way, that’s 240 words toward
February 19’s quota.
And now, if we add them all together,
including the ones to come, we will have
273 at the end of this sentence.
(Oops, that’s 274 plus these words for a total of 285.)