Happy July 4th! Here’s another one on the house from Dispatches from the Swinging Door Saloon.

If I Were Mayor

If I were mayor, I would draft an ordinance

making you my only citizen,

and I would appreciate you so much

that I would never tax you,

and I would let you ride around town

in the fire truck, sirens on.

I would make sure the diner downtown

had a ham sandwich named after you,

and every weekend

there would be a parade in your honor,

and you would ride on the back

of an old DeSoto convertible and wave.

But the car would have to drive itself

because I would be marching alongside,

banging a big drum or showing off

on horseback while doing rope tricks

and playing the harmonica.

At dusk, I would play

the You Spangled Banner